Fat Lip

I never expected that I’d be given a fat lip by a boxer. It sounds more impressive than it should, unfortunately.

I was relaxing in our hammock, minding my own business, when she suddenly appeared beside me and just stared at me. Questioningly. Expectantly.

I got as far as saying, “Okay, Allie, you can…” when 75 pounds of fur and muscle landed on my chest, rocking my world wildly. So wildly, that four hard, bony legs scrambled to adjust. On top of me. A right cross with claws – actually it was more of a panicked swipe – found my face and left its mark.

I couldn’t help it, I just laughed even harder. You’re missing out if you’ve never watched a dog try to get into a hammock.

Since Jan moved away from home, our boxer hasn’t had anyone she can cuddle with. She learned at an early age that she wasn’t allowed on furniture – with the one exception of Jan’s bed, because our daughter is a big pushover for begging brown eyes.

Erm, it would seem that Jan isn’t the only pushover. The hammock is a cheap piece of furniture and it’s outside, and Allie is so ridiculously cute when she wants to cuddle, so in a moment of sappiness I gave in and allowed her this one place where she can lay down beside me.

The big oaf gets so damned excited that she just flattens me, snuggling her head into my chest and pushing with her feet to find room to lay on the canvas. I can’t help laughing my ass off at her enthusiasm and clumsiness, which just rocks everything even more!

Ach, who am I kidding. It’s great. Well, so long as I’m going to have a shower afterward, anyway. I can’t stop giggling at her struggles to balance and her uncharacteristic antics, even when she licks my armpits with unbridled enthusiasm. (Ewww.) She’s very polite, because she always waits to be invited, but as soon as you give the verbal okay to come on board, all normal bets are off and she suddenly can’t contain her huge joy, which fills me as well.

The dust and fur eventually settled today, the paws stilled, and we lay peacefully next to each other – her on 80% of the hammock and me squeezed carefully over to one edge. The pushy bitch. I was absently scratching her ear and starting to doze off nicely under the warm sun when, in my half-awake-half-asleep state, a distant part of my brain noted the sound of a nearby bee. The next thing I knew, I was catapulted sideways into the deck railing, adding some bruises to go with the swelling lip.

Anyone know how to teach a dog to ask permission to get OFF of a hammock?

Boy trouble

So it begins.

Last summer, Cob had his first crush on a girl. We’ll call her Abby. Cob asked Abby out, but she said she wanted to be “just friends”. To their credit, they made it past the initial awkwardness and have stayed good pals ever since.

Such good pals, in fact, that Abby played a part in setting Cob up with his first girlfriend – her best friend, Kate.

Ya with me so far? I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t – when it comes to teenage relationships, I think there should be a spreadsheet program for parents to help keep track.

Kate and Cob have been dating for several months now, and they get along great. I’m impressed with some things about Kate, including the fact that she doesn’t *appear* to have a problem with Cob continuing his friendship with her best friend. The three of them chat together online and on the phone almost constantly.

Recently, Cob asked if he could go to the movies with Abby. “What about Kate?” we asked. Her parents are taking her camping, so she can’t go.

We’ve tried to explain to our son why going to the movies alone with his girlfriend’s best friend is a really baaaaaaddddd idea. The fact that the friend in question was his first crush, and Kate knows that, makes it even worse. He’s arguing the point. Abby has had some deaths in the family recently, and she was rejected by a boy she likes, so she’s been depressed and was looking forward to going to the movies with Cob to cheer up.

WHOOP! WHOOP!! DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!!!!!

“But Abby phoned Kate and asked her if she’d mind, and Kate said it wouldn’t bother her.”

Ah, young son. So cocky. So confident. So much to learn.

I outlined the many reasons why he would be setting himself up for a world of trouble if he hangs out alone with Abby. I explained about females and the “What’s wrong? Nothing” foolishness that all girls do at some point, and many never outgrow. I’ve warned him before that he can’t trust his own body and self control at this age – he just can’t – but of course no teenager believes that about themselves. It ended with him disgustedly asking if I was saying ‘no, you can’t go’, or if I was just strongly advising him not to.

“Do I have to make it that I’m saying ‘no’? Can’t the fact that we’re telling you that you shouldn’t, be strong enough?”

I’ve urged him to talk to his father. He won’t, because he knows Doc agrees with me. I’ve suggested that he ask his older sister’s opinion, and even her boyfriend’s. I don’t know if he will or not, but I hope so – I’m confident that they’ll tell him similar to what I have. Meanwhile, he’s pretty pissed at me, and I understand why. I would’ve had the same reaction at his age. Not that he wants to hear that from me, either!

He’s a great kid overall, so he’ll abide by our decision, even though he doesn’t agree with it or like it. I can’t get a feel for if he’s drawn to be the rescuer (he does have a strong, protective streak), or if he’s heading toward a “grass is greener” scenario. He probably isn’t even aware enough to know that himself.

So is this what I can look forward to, being the mother of a dating boy?!?

Yikes….