Ah, Monday. The first day back to the regular grind. A chance to start off the new year renewed, rested, reinvigorated, and excited about the future.
At about 2:00pm, I stifled a scream of frustration, closed my email program before I told a sub contractor to “stuff it”, and started hitting the “Stumble!” button as a temporary stress relief before I cracked up completely.
The very first site that came up was the Wikipedia entry for the San Francisco Bush Man. Another click took me to this YouTube video.
A decade ago, if someone had sent me this, I would have squinted a bit unconsciously, smiled awkwardly, maybe cocked an eyebrow, and either said nothing or made a sarcastic joke as a cover. I would have looked at that video and been confused. Is this supposed to be funny? Is there something intelligent about this? Do people find this interesting? Seriously, what the hell is the point?
That was me then. This is me now. Somewhere along the line, and I don’t even know where, I lost the prerequisite need to always see the usefulness and intelligence in everything. Now I look at that video and I feel myself being charmed by the absurdity of it. The total disregard for normalcy and reason.
I’m way better now at recognizing the magic and entertainment – and even strength and bravery – in that which makes no bloody sense at all.
The universe isn’t always fair and reasonable, so why expect that playing by the rules is the only way to go? Where’s the logic in that? I’m going to try to remember that if someone can sit on a wharf behind a bunch of leaves and make a living reaching out and scaring people walking by (and not just make money but make people LAUGH and be delighted in the process!) then by god, I don’t have to always be brilliant and responsible and perfect to meet other people’s expectations.
As for my own expectations… that’s a lot tougher. A work in progress.
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January 30, 2009 at 8:53 am
Valerie Marie
Dear Heather,
I was without internet for a few weeks and now the first I read on the blogosphere is your entry: great post. I only read a few blogs on a regularly basis (like dear ATM), because I’m an addict, and I try to keep some hours for my job(laugh).
You very often make me reflect on myself : “That was me then. This is me now. Somewhere along the line, and I don’t even know where, I lost the prerequisite need to always see the usefulness and intelligence in everything.” andv”I don’t have to always be brilliant and responsible and perfect to meet other people’s expectations.”
THANK YOU! ((hugs))