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It’s my father-in-law’s 80th birthday today.
This afternoon, he will marry his third wife. She’s 76.
Twice now Dad has watched helplessly as each of his previous wives of 29 years and 19 years died slowly from cancer. The first time nearly killed him as well. The second time was equally devastating, just in different ways.
You’d never know it to look at him today. Oh, there are a lot of lines in his face, etched there by the pain, but his eyes are those of a teenage boy’s, waiting for his girl to come down the stairs for prom.
And this particular prom date is a real pistol. Unlike my other two mother-in-laws who were strong women but demure and traditional, this one is a riot and will keep Dad on his toes. Hell, she even keeps me on my toes!
Love like you’ll never get hurt.
Life’s too short not to.
I’m getting really outraged by this, to the point where I have to step away from work and do something — vent somewhere — before I lay into someone.
I just… it’s getting… they don’t even… ferfu… AARGH!!! Hoo… heeheeheehoo…. heeheeheehoo…. deep breaths, Heather, deep breaths… unclench those fists… (hey, this sounds familiar)….
Okay. It’s like this. Please, I beg of you, explain to me what the hell is happening to the concept of professionalism, and proper use of the English language. I make my living communicating, and helping others communicate. That’s my profession. But at the moment, I’d sorely like to “communicate” a smack upside the head to other “professionals” for their slack-ass, careless, and yes, I’ll say it, completely disrespectful way of writing emails.
An email is a letter. If you write an email about business matters, you are writing a business letter. If you are presenting yourself as a communications professional, for chrissakes have the decency to act like one! I am appalled at what can only be interpreted as laziness, and I see it happening more and more each day. It’s driving me nuts.
I fielded an email today from a newspaper reporter of a major publication. She was requesting an interview so she could write a national news story about one of my clients. Her initial email, and subsequent reply, were both written entirely in lowercase letters. There wasn’t a single capital letter used, ever. Not even for her name, my client’s name, or for the word “I”. She apparently does not have access to a computer equipped with a single SHIFT button. It must make for interesting newspaper articles.
Recently, I was hired by a new client to help with their … um… widget business. (I don’t want to act unprofessional myself, so I’ll change any identifying details, but I’ll keep the essence intact.)
The client has written a book about widgets, and they have a publicist who has helped set up interviews and opportunities for them to talk about widgets. Part of my job is coordinating all of that. So the publicist sent me copies of emails that he’s sent out to television shows, magazines, trade shows, etc. who are in the business of widgets. The emails are almost completely identical and boilerplate. (By “boilerplate”, I mean that the bulk of the email is the same from one to another, simply copied and pasted into each individual letter, to save time. I use boilerplates every day for business correspondence, too.)
Here’s what he has apparently been sending out, over and over, on behalf of his (and now my) client:
Hi,
My name is John Doe and working with widget expert and author, Bob Smith. Bob is a man who is passionate about widgets and really wants to teach people (men, women and children) the joys of being outside and connecting with nature with the aide of a widget!
Bob’s book, The Widget Whisperer, came out last February and since it’s debut, Bob has been talking non-stop about widgets! He has done tv, radio, print and more demos that have inspired folks to take up widgets. This is where he gets to share his knowledge of widgets – and he does have popular information session!
Below is more information about the book and Bob. I would love to talk to you more about Bob’s involvement in the show. You can also check out [website url] for more info on Bob. He can talk about beginner widgeting, how to get families connected with widgets, how to make beginner widgets and more. He is dynamic and knowledgeable.
Please give me a call at XXX-XXX-XXXX or via email at john@bigshotpublicitycompanyIwontmention, I would appreciate talking to you or one of your colleagues about Bob and him being a guest speaker at your show.
I changed nothing about the above except the identifying details. The missing words, spelling errors, and questionable punctuation are all original and from a direct copy and paste.
I’m no great shakes at punctuation and I play pretty fast and loose with it myself in casual writing and here on the blog, but … entire words missing? And in the very first sentence? And a publicist who either doesn’t use spellcheck or doesn’t know the difference between “it’s” and “its”, or “aide” and “aid”?
Don’t even get me started on things like “wants to teach people (men, women and children)…” and “about Bob and him being…”, because I admit that would just be petty and snarky-sounding.
But… jeez. A look at this publicist’s web site says that he is a very well-known and highly regarded professional, and he has glowing testimonials from celebrities and best-selling authors. Quotes praise his “exceptional service and attention to every detail.” He seems like a very nice person, and is apparently very effective in his job. He charges about $250/hour, so he must be way better at what he does than I am at what I do.
I guess this could sound like sour grapes and overall negativity, but I’m really just pissed that every day, I see more and more people who don’t appear to give a damn about the quality of their work and presentation, and we as a society are letting this happen. Hell, we’re paying big bucks to them and merely shrugging. I’m not talking about teens using chat-speak or adults writing colloquially or making typos in blogs… I’m talking about a professional publicist and a national newspaper reporter, for chrissakes! These are people whose daily jobs and reputations are based on a high standard of knowledge and proper use of the English language!
It utterly baffles me. Clearly these people are equipped with a better understanding of writing, and a SHIFT key, than what their emails portray, but as my husband suggested when I vented to him about this, they seem to think that it doesn’t matter in emails. But my question is “Why?” WHY doesn’t it matter to them, or to the people they send these sloppy, lazy, unchecked works off to? It sure as hell matters to me!
We’re lowering the bar, people. We’re expecting less and less from experts, and professionals, and workers in general. We shrug and let it go, and reward it with our silence. It gets to the point where, after a while, it doesn’t even register any more that anything’s even wrong. We’re letting the lowest common denominator become the acceptable new normal.
Isn’t it interesting that we expect more and more from technology, and from the material goods that technology lets us create? We want every new model or version to be bigger, faster, more efficient, more powerful. And yet we’re teaching our children, our scholars, and even our professionals the exact opposite – that they can be less conscientious, less respectful, less independent, and less particular about their own performance, and that’s acceptable.
We have higher demands and expectations for the integrity and quality of inanimate objects, than we do of the humans creating and using them.
This isn’t the evolution that I would hope for.
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I strongly believe what I wrote above, but I deleted it shortly after I originally posted it because I started to think, “What if the publicist happens to stumble here and recognize his work?” (I couldn’t give a damn about the reporter.) He’s a genuinely nice guy and I don’t want to hurt him or piss him off, or be unprofessional, myself, by writing about it here.
I’m not publicly slandering anyone, or even personally attacking their intelligence or abilities. I’m actually assuming that they are very smart and completely capable people, otherwise I wouldn’t be so baffled and frustrated by this stuff.
So, really, deleting the post was just a chickenshit thing to do. It’s not like I had to break into song in the middle of a unsuspecting crowd or anything. So it’s back now. I’ll try to leave it here.
I just posted that quick, one-off post below, and then looked at the site and realized that a lot of my posts here lately are in the “c’mon, people, let’s be happy” sappy vein. And a part of me feels a bit apologetic about that – that it could be irritating to others when I’m so Pollyanna. Which is weird, all on its own.
Well, if I’m going to feel apologetic about things that I don’t believe I should feel apologetic for, then I may as well bite the bullet and post a completely different rant that I had put on the blog here a while back, and then pulled off shortly afterward, because the timing was less that ideal and, quite honestly, I chickened out. ‘Kay, well… gulp… see above.
I realize this is cheating, just posting a video, and I plan/hope to actually blog more often soon, especially since I have a plethora of half-asse… er…. half-completed posts in my drafts folder. But for now, and for a break from life, please watch this:
If you can watch that and not grin, we can’t be friends.Yes, it’s a commercial, but my heroes at Improv Everywhere often do similar. I am fascinated and thrilled whenever humans find a way to:
* create a small pocket of joy and creativity
* in the middle of the very places we’re often apt to numb ourselves and sleepwalk through
* without it being at the expense or pride of anyone else
* and you can watch the effect spread through the observers.
I love watching the different reactions of the people who find themselves in the middle of these eruptions. Some embrace the opportunity quickly and let themselves feel the joy unabashedly – more often it’s the kids and the older people who do that. I even love watching those who are trying to resist, like they’re scared to let themselves be entertained – like it’s a crack in their personal armor that they have to quickly shore up before something gets in. The armchair psychologist in me can’t help but think that you can tell a lot about a person by this.
And I love the talent and courage of the performers… here, watch this clip, too, of a cheesy (on purpose) impromptu food court musical:
Would *you* be willing to be that girl at the beginning who started it all? Even knowing exactly what was happening, a part of my heart ached for her at first and you could almost palpably feel the ridicule and disapproval (all symptoms of fear, btw) slamming toward her.
But she did it ayway, and it instantly changed the rest of the day for everyone there.
I know, frequency of posts has been atrocious. I’ve been busy, and I haven’t slept through the night since before Christmas. To try to explain myself more would be pointless.
Other than the persistent insomnia, life is a lot of fun right now. The busyness is fun busyness, with more work and more challenges, and a side order of more money which means more breathing room each month. We’ve slightly elevated our standard of living, which for us means that we make every second pot of coffee with real ground beans instead of Folgers bought on sale at Walmart.
Mmm. Coffee. I need all the help I can get, lately. I’ve had more moments of humiliating stupidity than I can ever remember before. (Although not remembering is probably par for the course.) Yesterday I bought something that I thought cost $4.99, and when the clerk charged me $5.24 I thought to myself, “Hmm, that doesn’t sound right.” I paid, then walked back to the shelf to look again, and yup, it was supposed to be $4.99. It was only a quarter difference, mind you, but I was debating whether to stop by customer service on the way out and get them to refund to the correct price – just for the principle of it – when my parked brain suddenly lurched into gear and screamed, “Uh…. TAXES? DUH!! HELLO!”
I’m kind of surprised that I was wearing shoes and had managed to dress myself.
